"But I -- no, wait, it's not that I don't -- but -- you see, my Sakura-chan--!"
"Sakura-chan doesn't have this, does she?" Jin replies with a soft, almost dangerous purr. He stalks up to Naruto, his kimono parting a little more with each step he takes.
Naruto whimpers, and freezes at the glimpse of a flat chest, slender legs, a teasing curl of dark silver hairs on a flat belly. Jin's hands trail down his sides, over his narrow hips, toward something Naruto is fairly sure Sakura doesn't possess.
A long smoke-gray lock slides over Jin's shoulder, barring that white-skinned chest with temptingly soft wisps of hair. "She doesn't have a dick," Jin whispers, and his voice has a hint of roughness behind the gentle, seductive lilt that goes straight to Naruto's groin.
By god, a boy shouldn't be allowed to be so gorgeous. He's like the best of both worlds, a pretty face on a body as close to true androgyny as they come...
Jin straddles Naruto's lap and his hands catch Naruto's wrists, preventing them from pushing him off. And then he kisses him, long and slow, openmouthed and wet, pulling a long groan from somewhere deep in Naruto's chest.
Reeling, Naruto needs a few seconds to remember the question. "... No? But. Uh. Sasuke does! And Sasuke, he -- well, he'll be... he won't be very..."
Then Beni is standing beside him -- and contrary to Jin, her kimono is closed properly, belt pulled tight around her waist. But it ends a bit higher than mid-thigh, and her legs are so long and so smooth that Naruto is pretty sure if he craned his neck a little he would know whether she wears panties. He heard somewhere you're not supposed to, with traditional clothes.
Seeing her teammates, the question should probably be whether she shaves or not. And her legs just won't quit. She props up one of her feet on the couch, elegant, graceful, and she teases the thigh Jin isn't straddling with her bare toes. Naruto's not a leg man usually, but he imagines them wrapped around his hips and he whimpers.
"Does your Sasuke have legs like these?"
Beni kneels on the couch, one of her knees behind his back, the other slowly inching forward to straddle whatever space her teammate left free on Naruto's lap. She breathes in his ear, and trails nibbles down his chin until she can flick her tongue at his lips, and there she nips him again, and it makes him whimper a second time.
"...Sakura-chan does? Well, maybe not that long but. Erm. They're pretty nice, really!"
Beni gives him a blank stare that makes him wilt a little, and Kigane sighs and pouts at him.
With her riot of wild gold curls and her amused smirk, she looks so confident in her sensuality -- she has a right to be. Kigane's lips are red and so full; they're the kind of lips that are made to do horribly, horribly sinful things. She leans toward him, and -- well she doesn't unbelt her kimono like Jin did, but then she doesn't need to, because it wasn't holding her breasts in even before she leaned over him, presenting him with a supple, tempting valley and the edge of a very pink nipple.
She kisses him, too, sucks on his tongue like she would suck on his cock, and he's so hard it hurts, oh yes, yes, yes. "Neither of them has these, do they?" she asks with smug triumph, as she places one of Naruto's hand on her breast.
"No, but mine are better," Naruto replies without thinking.
Two seconds later he's been dumped out of the couch by three disgusted kunoichi, and there's no pretty boy on his lap, no long legs against his side and no breasts under his nose.
"Fine, you win! Damn it."
It's the first dare in his life Naruto would have been happier losing.