Saki-chan Universe

Joosetta: Because Saki-chan is the best thing that happened to the Naruto fandom, and possibly the world at large.
This fic is designed not to make sense to anyone who doesn't know who she is. Sorry.


“Ohhh baby.”

Naruto considered sitting up and checking what had made Jiraiya groan like that, but he was too warm and comfortable- and it was probably only a girl anyway.

“That is one. . . HOT. . piece of- Oi brat where's my telescope quick!”

Naruto groaned and fumbled around without opening his eyes. He was stretched on his back in the roof of his apartment doing ‘reconnaissance’ with his former teacher. Years came and went, but Jiraiya remained ever constant and unchanging.

This joint ogling session was practically a weekly tradition.

For once though Naruto wasn’t really interested in the ordinary women folk of Konoha. He usually took part with fair enthusiasm, and much appreciation and breast measuring. However today he was thinking about something else. Someone else.

“BRAT quick - gah!”

Just as Naruto cracked open one eyelid and finally found what he was searching for, Jiraiya sighed sharply, and slumped against the wall.

“I missed her because of you! She went into the flower shop.”

He sniffed and trained the telescope on the front of the shop anyway.

“What was she like mm? Pervert?”

Naruto half sat up, but didn’t stare down at the street, instead gazing up at the sky. The blue, he thought distractedly, would look amazing on Saki-chan, really make her eyes glow. It was a shame she preferred dark colours. They were elegant, but Naruto was trying to push her into pastels as well.

The truth was, in the end Saki-chan wore what she wanted. Naruto never had any input in the outfits. The only way he stood a chance of getting her into sky blue was if he bought her a really, really nice dress. Something with frills maybe. Perhaps shoes as well. . .

He was so far into that thought that he barely heard Jiraiya’s response.

“Ahhh she was dark and slender. . . innocent looking. . .”

The older man looked all set to gush for hours, but Naruto cut him short, getting to the point.


Jiraiya made a face.
“Smaller than I would have liked, but oh. . it didn’t matter, she looked like she is the type to /squeal/!”

Naruto sunk back with a groan, worrying not for the first time about Jiraiya’s increasingly paedophilic tendencies. When he was younger it hasn’t been so obvious- but looking back, there were things that the old pervert had done freaked him out to no end.

“THERE! LOOK-gah!”

Jiraiya scrambled for the telescope and hunched over the wall, peering down at the street. With a sigh, Naruto sat up, and looked over as well, totally unprepared for what he saw.

It was Saki-chan, holding a bunch of flowers, and walking slowly down the street. She was wearing the skirt- the- Naruto fumbled for the word- the puffy skirt, that made her waist look /tiny/ and those sandal high heels that Ino had bought her last birthday, and oh.

Perfect. She was perfect, as usual.

Jiraiya sighed lasciviously.
“That is a fine woman. . .”

Naruto shook his head slowly before snatching the telescope from Jiraiya and hitting him smartly over the head with it.

“Oi, pervert!”
He pointed down at Saki, who was making her way towards the block of flats, hips swinging just slightly, dark hair lying silky across her downcast eyes.
“Don’t ogle my girl! Right!?”

It was totally worth it for the look on Jiraiya’s face.


The old pervert was still questioning Naruto incredulously when Saki finally made her way up to the roof. She hung back, shy, at the top of the fire exit, and Naruto gestured for her to come over.

Naruto cut through the old man’s gibbering,
“This is Saki, my girlfriend, Saki-chan- Jiraiya, my old teacher.”

“I’m so pleased to meet you,”
Saki murmured softly, ducking her head , perfectly polite and demure. Jiraiya’s mouth seemed to be permanently hanging open.

Saki was obviously feeling daring, because she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Naruto’s cheek and handed him the flowers.

“I bought these from Ino-san, to brighten up your flat.”

Naruto held them up, delighted. They were the perfect blue of the sky, and forgetting Jiraiya was there for a moment, Naruto held one out against Saki-chan’s cheek. He was right, they made her eyes seem bluer and brighter. She blushed and turned her head away, hair falling over her eyes.


Jiraiya said in a low and utterly confused tone.

“Why didn’t you introduce me to Saki-chan sooner!!? How lovely to meet you, miss!”

He grasped Saki’s hand and before Naruto had the opportunity to /kill/ him, placed a very gentlemanly kiss on her fingertips. Saki-chan blushed and withdrew her hand in a hurry, pressing closer to Naruto.

“We were busy.”
Naruto said stoutly, hooking an arm around Saki protectively.
“Anyway, I thought you would just be rude to her.”

Saki-chan giggled at that slightly, and Naruto made a face at Jiraiya, who was obviously horrified by such rude talk in front of a lady. He blustered on anyway, bowing far too much and getting rather red in the face.

“Ohh, you and Naruto should come out for a meal, my treat-”

Naruto snorted at that.

“What do you like to eat Saki-chan? Something nicer than this idiot I am sure!”

“I enjoy eating ramen with Naruto very much.”
Saki said mildly and Naruto felt a sudden squeeze of affection. She was so /nice/ to him, not like that bastard-

“Ohhhh ramen? A fine dish indeed! Please, let me take you for some one evening! Naruto you can come as well, of course-”

“Your treat!?”

Naruto blurted, still not quite able to keep down that sudden burst of ‘Free-Ramen’ excitement. Jiraiya looked like he very much regretted it.

“Of course. My treat. Now I really must be going-”

He had that glint in his eye, and Naruto pulled Saki ever so slightly closer, glaring at the old pervert. Jiraiya coughed then bowed politely to Saki-chan.

“/So/ lovely to meet you! Goodbye, goodbye. . “

And he was off, jumping from the roof to a canopy and down onto the street where he paused to wipe at his forehead, then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“What an odd man.”
Saki said lightly. Naruto laughed.

“I’m sorry if he bothered you baby, here-”
He reached over and tucked one of the blue flowers into her dark hair just above her ear. She blushed again- so beautiful

“I know something that would make my flat even more scenic,”
He whispered as he pulled her close.


The penny didn’t drop, as it were, until a few days later.

Naruto was propped on one side of the bridge, Sasuke at the furthest end from him, leaning against the wooden rail looking grim. They were waiting for Shikamaru, who if tradition was anything to go by, was probably still in bed.

Jiraiya appeared, looking haggard and hungover. He saw Sasuke first, and went entirely white, apart from two spots of dull red right in the middle of his cheeks. He hurried past, looking almost nauseated, and slumped next to Naruto.

“You. Brat.”

He seemed to take a while to recover.

“I was talking to Kakashi yesterday.”

It was all that was needed by way of explanation. Naruto took a long moment to laugh, loudly at his old teacher. Sasuke looked up, irritated, but said nothing.

“I hate you.”
Jiraiya hissed under his breath, then wiped his forehead weakly.
“You lucky bastard.”

Naruto didn’t even want to stop and /think/ about what Jiraiya meant by /that/.