For KMMK/Narsksas, who challenged me with "NaruKiba: well, my fangs are sharper!" Of course, I just HAD to use the same old twist I always do. One-trick-pony? Me? Never. XD

Lamest Excuse Ever

"Well, my fangs are sharper!" Kiba protested. Loudly.

Naruto gave him a disgusted and resentful look. On him, it looked kind of like a miffed hamster, but no one had ever bothered telling Naruto that he was getting a bit old for the puffed up cheeks trick. Especially without clothes. Lots of facial expressions should never be attempted outside of the appropriate state of clothing. Sultry, promising smiles, for example, were best attempted without any; Naruto-style pouting, not so much.

The middle-sized circus currently residing in Naruto's baggy, glaringly orange pants would have been rather jarring either way.

"That's the lamest excuse to get out of giving a blowjob I've ever heard."

Kiba huffed, sat up cross-legged on the grass, and crossed his arms on his chest for good measure. He even remembered to turn his face away, ostensibly ignoring said circus. "Okay, how's that one? I'm not gay."

Naruto kneeled up, waving his arms angrily. (His erection bobbed a little, synchronously, but Kiba was looking away and Did Not Notice. Or maybe only with some very manly, virile and non-gay 'who's bigger?'-type pondering. Or, at best -- worst ! -- a sort of horrified fascination.)

"I'm not gay either and yet I gave you one!" Naruto whined -- ahem, opposed firmly. Kiba really was being an ass. Naruto wasn't gay -- maybe a tiny little bit bi, but really, only with pretty boys, not with doggy-boy -- it was just experimentations, really, they were pals weren't they, who could they experiment with if not each other -- anyway! Anyway Naruto wasn't gay and he wasn't especially fond of dicks not his own, and he still hadn't died of giving Kiba's a lick or two. It was just skin for god's sake, and with all that fooling around in the river it wasn't like they stank. Well okay, sperm was kind of gross, but he didn't have to swallow.

Oh yeah, that was right, Naruto had given him one. And it had been -- well, not earth-shattering, but Kiba was of the opinion that there were only two kinds of blowjobs, the good blowjobs and the awesome blowjobs. Nothing that involved wet, warm lips on his dick could ever be anywhere close to neutral, not to mention bad. "But you were a chick at the time, it's completely different."

"What was different?" Naruto asked belligerently.

"Well, you had tits!"

"I meant different for me, asshole!"

Naruto swatted at Kiba. Kiba swatted back. They wasted a few minutes rolling around on the riverbank, nipping each other's arm and attempting to pin each other down.

(Which didn't help Naruto's problem all that much, sadly.)

"I was still a guy inside, moron!"

Kiba shoved Naruto away, grumbling. "... It's still different."

Naruto briefly tried to comprehend the logic that made someone less gay for sucking dick while looking like a girl than while looking like what they really were, a guy. He didn't manage. But then, Kiba didn't shine by his logic any more than Naruto himself did. "So what, you wanna learn my jutsu so you can be a chick when you go down on me?"

Kiba growled, baring his fangs. Naruto bared his right back. More tussling and rolling around ensued. (Maybe with some humping thrown in. Hey, Naruto's lap circus had been unattended for a while now.)

"I'm not learning your jutsu and I'm not giving you a blowjob, the end."

Naruto glared evilly. That wasn't fair! Like hell Kiba was going to get out of it. He puffed up again, ready to tackle the bastard and make him --

"...Tell you what," Kiba added, surprisingly conciliatory, "you turn back into a girl and I'll go down on you twice."

Naruto glared. Pouted. Sulked.

And remembered Ino and Sakura's chats. (the super secret ones where they threw words at each other that they would have killed a boy for uttering in their presence, like the pure virginal perfect ladies that they so weren't. Oh hey, while he thought of it, did they have friendly tussles too like Naruto and Kiba had -- wow, and the middle-sized circus was now a Barnum affair, complete with two or three elephants.)

Girl orgasms did indeed sound tempting. Hell, if Sakura-chan was there (and not dead from blushing, and not killing him for even mentioning sex in a radius of less than two miles of her presence) she might even tell him he was getting the better end of the bargain. Even though he would have liked to know how it felt to get his Naruto Junior -- ahem.

Oh well, he could always jerk off to the memories.

"...Deal. But you keep your fangs out of it."