"Fuck him if you want, goddamn it! I told you I don't care. Why should I care?"
Naruto snorted. "Oh, please, it's so obvious you care a ton."
"I don't. Go fuck him. He sure begs for it enough."
Sakura frowned sternly. "Sasuke-kun, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention the way he dresses again. He feels more comfortable like that -- alright, it's weird, but it's his right."
"Even Yamanaka doesn't bare so much midriff, and you're telling me it's just personal preference?" he retorted with a scowl.
Naruto chortled, breaking Sasuke and Sakura's staring contest. "Oh, Sasuke. You so want him."
"... What."
"You're fixated on his midriff. Fixated! Even I stopped thinking about it like ten seconds after I met him. But you! Hah. It's like you can't get enough of his sexy man-hips, you can't help staring."
"It's horror," Sasuke informed him through gritted teeth.
Naruto kept smirking in a knowing way and didn't bother answering. Sasuke turned his back on him, on them both.
"... Fuck you. Go have sex with him if you want him so much, I don't get why you're even asking me. We're teammates with benefits, not married."
Sakura threw her hands in the air and raged. "Because we love you more than we love Sai and we always will! And he's nothing like you and we know that -- better than you do! We love him because he's Sai, and we love you because you're Sasuke, and it's not 'just sex' with either of you! And we're not fucking teammates with benefits, Sasuke, we're your lovers, and if you belittle it again I swear I'll punch you!"
Sasuke stood in silence, jaw clenching, trying to work through his conflicting emotions.
"... I love you, Sasuke. Naruto loves you too. That's never going to stop. Not even if you went away for twenty years. You know that, right?"
He bowed his head, hair hanging in his eyes, still with his back on her. "... Mnh."
"And nothing could replace you. I wasn't trying to replace you when I got with Naruto. You didn't have a problem with that, did you?"
"Mmh."
"So why do you think we would replace you with Sai? You know he's nothing like you. He's awkward, and gentle, and... really kind of weird, in a way that is totally not Sasuke."
"Also, he actually smiles," Naruto piped up. "Even if it always looks kinda freaky."
Sasuke sighed and threw up his hands. "Fine, damn it."
"... So we can date him?"
"Yes," Sasuke growled sulkily.
Sakura beamed. "Great! Let's go this saturday. You're free, Sasuke-kun, right?"
"--Hey, wait, I said you could, I didn't say I would!"
Naruto threw an arm around Sasuke's shoulders and hugged him roughly. "Too late! Because you know, we're gonna date him as a team or not at all."
Sakura nodded and stepped up to his other side to take his hand. "I agree. Just the two of us would be too much like cheating. But if you're there, then it will be fine. We're not asking you to become his best friend, just... We won't do that behind your back."
Sasuke let out a sigh, relenting. "... Alright. Alright. Let's try."
Sakura grinned brightly and kissed him on the corner of his lips quicky. Naruto grinned and nuzzled his hair. Sasuke pretended the affection annoyed him, but didn't try to break away.
"Just, can you do me a favor?" Naruto asked.
"... Maybe."
"Kiss him. With tongue. I betcha Sakura-chan creams her shorts."