Theme 9 for the ThirtyForThree community on LiveJournal, Babies.
Pairing: NaruSasuSaku.
Genre: Humor, fluff.
Warning: Mpreg.


She finds Sasuke on his knees in the bathroom, dry-heaving. She winces; her own morning sickness stage has been over for two months now, but Sasuke is having a few complications. Seven months pregnant, and still throwing up once a day without fail -- and that's without counting the times when the smell of something -- anything -- doesn't agree with him.

She pats his back encouragingly; she gets a dark, resentful glare in return.

"This is all your fault," he informs her when he's done, just like he's done without fail since the first time he got sick. She sighs and apologizes softly, still rubbing his back, and pretends that she doesn't see that he needs to lean on the sink to get back on his feet. She would help him, but he's so proud it would do more hurt than good.

They start back to their bedroom, Sakura one step behind; the corridor isn't large enough for them to waddle side by side. They pause by Miki's room together, without a word. Their daughter is soundly asleep, black eyes closed, messy reddish hair spiking every other way, cuddling her frog plushie tightly.

"... Does it get easier," Sasuke asks without looking at Sakura, "after the first pregnancy?"

Sakura chuckles softly as she closes the door. "I can't tell," she says as she pats her round belly softly. "This one takes after her daddy."

Sasuke doesn't answer, just slips a hand around her baby bulge until he feels the relentless kicks.

"... Let's go back to bed."

Naruto is sprawled in the middle of their huge futon, a bare leg peeking out of the blankets, arms akimbo as if waiting for heads to rest on his shoulders. There's no way to lay down except against him.

Sasuke doesn't bother trying; he kicks Naruto's leg and orders him to leave the bed until Sakura and him are installed comfortably.

Sasuke hates feeling like a beached whale so very much. It takes ages to lower himself to the mattress and find a comfortable position. Also, his back aches. At least he doesn't have Sakura's sore breasts on top of it -- his modified version of the sexy no jutsu has that small advantage. Of course it might also be the reason why he's sick all the time -- imprecise hormonal balance. He doesn't know which is worse. Being a full woman might be easier on his body, but on his psyche... not so much. The child inside him is already doing a number on his male pride.

But... but. He wants -- he needs to have more children. As perfect as his one daughter with Sakura is, she isn't enough. And Naruto couldn't keep on feeling excluded -- so since they were going to be stuck in Konoha for a few years again, this time Sasuke chose to save time by having a child at the same time as Naruto's. It's a bit hard to have twins on command, though, especially with different fathers.

So he came up with that version of the jutsu, and here he is. Fat and powerless, internal organs perpetually bruised, and that damned morning sickness that he swears he'll keep having until the day his child decides to say hello.

... His child. That makes it worth it.

Naruto settles between Sakura and him. It has become his usual place in the last nine months; Sakura and Sasuke need to be able to leave the bed at all hours, in a way that doesn't involve scaling the footboard. Sasuke strangely regrets losing the way Sakura would nestle against him, when they still switched places and he ended up in the middle.

He doesn't miss the way Naruto would throw a possessive arm around his waist, because the moron still does it.

"Stop fondling me," he grunts. "Go grope Sakura."

"He already is," she informs him from the other side of the bed, and slaps the offending hand off.

"I just want to say hello to the babies, " Naruto whines.

Sasuke groans as his kidneys are kicked again. Five hits combo. This one is going to be a god of taijutsu. "Mine says hello right back, now shut the hell up and let me finish my night."

"But it's eight AM -- OOF."

Naruto spits out the cushion that somehow stuffed itself in his mouth and gives Sasuke the puppy eyes. Bastard ignores him, pretending to sleep. Naruto turns toward Sakura; she's chuckling softly.

"Sasuke doesn't love me anymore," he informs her woefully. "You still do, right?"

"Yes, yes," she grins. "It could be worse though."

"How?" Naruto whispers, forehead to forehead with her, knowing perfectly well that Sasuke still hears them.

"You could be his baby's daddy," she comments dryly, and thinks that their children are going to be so messed up trying to keep track of who fathered or carried who. "Then he'd curse at you twice as much every time it twitches."

Naruto laughs, and pats her round, though not as huge, belly. "Hehe, next time maybe."

Sasuke pushes himself up to lean over Naruto's shoulder and glares down at them. "Next time what?"

Naruto rolls on his back to blink up at him. That's obvious, isn't it? "Well, you've got two kids with Sakura, Sakura's having my kid -- next time it's gotta be yours and mine. Now that we know that my passenger won't change a baby's genes," he adds, caressing Sakura's stomach where a perfectly human child is growing, "you don't hafta be afraid for the sharingan."

And then he reaches out and fits his large, calloused hand against the bottom curve of Sasuke's belly.

Sakura groans and rolls away, so she can't be dragged in the dispute when, predictably, Sasuke punches him.

"And why the hell wouldn't YOU carry MINE?"

Naruto stammers, still desperately trying to block Sasuke's fists without hurting him or making him lose his balance and fall on his stomach.

"B-because -- Kyuubi!"

"Ha! Hypocrite! You just said it wasn't a problem!"

"But carrying them is different!"

Sakura sighs and turns around again, knowing that they could keep squabbling for days.

"Hey Naruto. You have to admit... That would be fair."

Sasuke smirks as he sits up and crosses his arms over his belly, victorious. Naruto wilts.

Smiling serenely, Sakura continues. "Of course, if you two want to talk fair, you owe it to me to have two babies each."

Sasuke and Naruto stare at her for the longest time while she fights to keep a straight face, and then let out a "NO WAY!" in perfect synchronization. She dissolves into helpless laughter.

They don't notice that she never tells them, "I was kidding."