"Hokage-sama. Please tell me you and Hinata-sama didn't change the whole Hyuuga clan from top to bottom just to make it legal for Sasuke to marry me."
Naruto blinked at him from behind his desk and poked his crooked hat back into place. (it promptly slid back down over his other eye instead.) "But wasn't the issue that the Branch can't marry or have, uh," a quick check of the dictionary open on the table beside him, "dalliances outside of the clan?"
Neji breathes in. Neji breathes out. Neji thinks about how well he gets along with Uchiha Sasuke, and how much they've both always know that eventually it'll have to end, when Sasuke gets married. And how he is never getting drunk and maudlin around his Hokage ever, ever again.
"I don't care how legal it is, am I supposed to grow a womb?!"
"Oh, that! Sakura-chan tells me she's got it down and her whole medical team is briefed and ready, so whenever you guys get down to it I guess. But between you and me, Sasuke's the one who wants tons of brats so you should probably get him to get preggy with his fair share."
And then Naruto winks.
Neji has a Gai-conditioned response to winks.
"... And this is why you are posting bail," Neji explains, teeth clamped together and face bland as he stares at a fascinating patch of wall.
Sasuke stares at him through the bars, tilts his head, is silent for way too long. And then he nods. "Right. Save me a spot. Be back in however long it takes me to commit Kagecide."