-- twinArmageddons [TA] pestered carcinoGeneticist [CG] --
TA: hey kk, what'2 up iin your planetoiid of dork2 and de2perate hornball2
CG: SOLLUX? WOW, BEEN AGES SINCE I HEARD FROM YOU. ARE YOU GUYS FINALLY BACK IN CIVILIZED SPACE?
CG: HOW IS ARADIA?
TA: you know her, 2he'2 alway2 fiine.
TA: and ii a2ked fiir2t, nook2uck, what'2 up wiith the fiive of you, are you 2tiill flaiiliing around liike tool2 becau2e drunken makeout2 between friiend2 oh noe2?
TA: aa thought iit wa2 even odd2 that you'd all iimplode from embarra22ment and ab2cond the fuck out of there or that you'd fall iinto a depraved quadrant 2meariing orgy. pretty optiimii2tiic huh?
CG: WE'RE WORKING ON IT. (;B
TA: ...
TA: okay, who are you. are you an aliien who burrowed iin kk'2 thiinkpan and now you're u2iing hiim a2 a puppet?
TA: ii'd 2ay you're tz or dv tryiing to rp a2 hiim, but they'd be more conviinciing.
CG: HAR HAR. THIS IS A GOOD JOKE. LOOK AT ALL THE LITTLE ONOMATOPOEIAS I AM TYPING AWAY.
CG: OKAY, NO, I'M EVEN TOO LAZY TO COPYPASTE. NEVER MIND.
TA: alriight, a22hole, now ii'm worriied for real. what'2 goiing on?
CG: PFF. NOTHING THAT NEEDS YOU FRETTING AT IT, NERD PRINCE.
CG: FUCK, LIFE IS GOOD.
CG: ANYWAY, TELL ME ABOUT THE PLACES YOU'VE BEEN. DID YOU GUYS BRING BACK REPORTS FOR JADE AND ROSE? THEY'LL SLAUGHTER YOU IF YOU DIDN'T.
TA: yeah uh aa ha2 them, now 2top tryiing to fuck wiith my miind
TA: we were gone one 2weep, you have not changed THAT much.
CG: YESTERDAY I WOULD HAVE SAID I HADN'T.
TA: let me gue22. you found a human fundrug that work2 on troll2.
CG: HAHA, NO.
CG: GOOD GUESS, THOUGH. I AM SOOO ALTERED RIGHT NOW.
TA: ii'm 2eeiing that, 2weet tapdanciing fuck
CG: ENOUGH TO TELL YOU WITHOUT REGRET THAT I MISSED YOUR DOUCHEY, ODDLY NARROW FACE, AND THAT IF YOU ARE BACK IN COMMUNICATION RANGE YOU CAN'T BE FAR FROM THE HUB, SO IF YOU GUYS AREN'T HERE IN ONE WEEK I'M LETTING TEREZI HUNT YOU DOWN.
TA: iit wa2 the plan but now ii'm not 2ure iit wouldn't be 2afer to ab2cond the other way. kk, what the hell happened ye2terday to fuck you up that bad??
CG: FUCK ME UP THAT GOOD YOU MEAN.
CG: ACTUALLY GET RID OF THE UP.
TA: no way, you actually managed to keep a quadrant long enough to get to a paiil?
CG: UM.
CG: NOT QUITE.
CG: I MEAN
CG: THERE WAS NO PAIL.
CG: NOT THAT IT WAS NOT NEEDED, BUT THE SITUATION QUICKLY EVOLVED TO A POINT WHERE IT COULD NOT BE DEPLOYED.
TA: too much iinformatiion holy biilgegargliing fuck
CG: HAHA. SORRY.
CG: I'M JOSHING, I'M NOT SORRY AT ALL. REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO STRUT AROUND ABOUT TAPPING FEFERI OR ARADIA?
CG: SWEET REVENGE.
TA: ok 2o plea2e wow me wiith your fiinally lo2iing your viirgiiniity at ten 2weep2. whiich one are you tappiing, o grand ma2ter paiil guru.
CG: (((((:B
CG: ALL OF THEM.
CG: OKAY NOT ROSE OR KANAYA, BUT THEY DON'T LIVE WITH US SO THEY DON'T COUNT.
CG: AND AS OF YESTERDAY, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. HOLY GL'BGOLYB ON A TRICYCLE, IT WAS GORGEOUS. TEREZI AND JADE MADE OUT LIKE CRAZY. UNF.
CG: THIS IS THE CRY OF MY PEOPLE.
TA: ok ii've got the legii2lacerator2' 2treet drug regii2try open, tell me the name and batch
TA: ii thiink you need to get a refund, you got a bad one.
CG: YOU SOUND LIKE YOU THINK I'M MAKING IT UP.
TA: ii 2ound liike ii thiink ii'm gonna room wiith kn when ii vii2iit, you total nympho. wa2 iit an aphrodii2iiac or what??
CG: IT WAS SOPOR.
TA: ...
TA: ...................
CG: NO, SORRY, IT WAS "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT SOPOR," TRADEMARK JADE HARLEY.
CG: I SLEPT FIFTEEN HOURS.
CG: MY WORST DREAM INVOLVED HOPBEASTS TRYING TO CUDDLE UP TO ME AND LOOKING MILDLY SAD WHEN I WOULDN'T.
CG: BUT THEN THEY LEFT TO HOP AROUND WITH THEIR FURRY BRETHREN SO ALL ENDED WELL. UPON REFLECTION I THINK IT WAS TEREZI'S HAIR. I MUST HAVE SHOVED HER OFF MY CHEST IN MY SLEEP. WHOOPS.
CG: ANYWAY SHE SURVIVED, SO WHO CARES.
TA: ... 2opor. are you fuckiing 2eriiou2.
TA: ii thought iit only occurred naturally on alterniia, do you know how many refugee2 would pay through the nook for
TA: 2hiit, do you know what WE paiid to 2natch 2ome on the go?? we even helped 2ome dude friiend2 of aa'2 run iillegal 2opor off an iimperiial cargo that one tiime and the a22hole wa2 2eriiou2ly rolliing iin dough.
TA: jd managed to dupliicate iit? you're 2eriiou2?
CG: YUP.
TA: ... though iif the 2iide effect2 are that bad ii'm not 2ure 2he'll get to 2ell much of iit, welp
CG: THE EFFECTS ARE *NOT* THAT BAD, ASSHOLE.
CG: YESTERDAY ONE OF THE WOMEN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD DECIDED TO GET CLOSER TO THE OTHER WOMAN I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. EMOTIONALLY *AND* THE BODY PART IN ASSORTED BODY PART WAY. IT WAS GORGEOUS.
CG: JOHN FORGOT HIS HUMAN NEUROSIS ABOUT MAN ON MAN SEX TO LET ME
CG: UH, DO STUFF YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT.
CG: ALSO DAVE WAS HOT AND HATEFULLY PITIABLE AS ALWAYS.
CG: I'M *HAPPY,* DOUCHEWAFFLE.
CG: HAPPY AND WELL-RESTED.
CG: I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT MY BRAIN COULD FUNCTION SO FAST, SO EASILY, *WITHOUT* A JOLT OF TERROR FIRST TO MAKE THE ADRENALINE FLOW.
TA: oh.
CG: I THINK AFTER A WEEK OF NORMAL SLEEP (INSERT RIDICULOUS SMILEY FACE HERE; ARE YOU JEALOUS YET?) I MIGHT TURN DOWN THE GOOFINESS.
CG: IT'S LIKE MY BRAIN IS REMEMBERING THAT IT WAS IN FACT CHRONICALLY DEPRIVED OF SLEEP FOR SWEEPS, SO NOW I'M A LITTLE FOGGY, BUT JADE AND KANAYA TELL ME IT'LL PASS.
CG: AND IN AN ODD WAY I ACTUALLY FEEL BETTER. I'D JUST STOPPED NOTICING I FELT BAD AT SOME POINT?
TA: wow um.
TA: that 2ound2 liike
TA: you are a 2appy a22hole and ii am 2aviing thii2 conver2atiion and never lettiing you liive iit down.
CG: HAHA, WHATEVER.
CG: SO WHEN ARE YOU GUYS GETTING HOME?
TA: 2iix day2, we're 2toppiing at the hub fiir2t to meet wiith the other human2.
TA: ... thiink jd would liike other te2t 2ubject2?
CG: YOU SAY THAT LIKE YOU'D BE ALLOWED TO RUN AWAY. (:B