Homestuck

This was written for, uh. My own prompt on the kink meme actually, that I left a few months back and no one used it and it just so happens this week is Fill Some Goddamn Prompts Instead of Making New Ones week over there. So.
"(...) turns out they have somewhat of a reluctant crush on the same person.
I just really, really, really want Karkat as the filling in a Prospit Twins sandwich. Either as a shared fantasy/collaborative storytelling about how it would theoretically go down, or as something they eventually do implement when they get to meet again."
This wasn't as porny and detailed as I wanted it to be, but they decided to be bashful on me. :(

Adventures in Collaborative Storytelling

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 23:45 --

GG: hey john, i thought you were going to bed early!
EB: nd she kissed him full on the mouth with lots of to
EB: GAH
GG: :O ???
EB: damn it jade, you and your ninja windows! pretend you didn't see anything okay.
GG: ..... were you .....
GG: WRITING when my pesterchum window popped up??!
EB: jade! drop it okay.
GG: you were! if you were copypasting it wouldn't be in the middle of a sentence.
EB: ...
GG: you were writing about kissing! :OOO
GG: um do you miss rose that much or are you making her a present for next year or something?
EB: yes actually! i'm writing her a joke wizard fic for her birthday. never too early!
GG: hm.
GG: a joke, like pretending to be serious about it but making it super silly instead?
EB: yes! exactly. haha.
EB: it's harder than i thought. stupid words. why won't they line up right.
GG: hmmmmm.
EB: stop hmming! no hmmms allowed.
GG: HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
EB: i call dibs on movie choice next saturday on account of your lawbreaking hmming ways.
GG: i call dibs on YOUR punishment for being a lying liar, mister who thought he could fool me with his LIES!!!!
GG: if you were writing for rose there would be NO girlkisses!
GG: (which is weird because id think rose wouldnt mind girlkisses herself, but.)
GG: ...
GG: well? :X
EB: okay fine, i was writing my own thing.
GG: john? i didnt mean you werent allowed to wri
GG: oh. good. (I figured :D)
GG: what is it about???? apart from sloppy makeouts lol
GG: (i got your number, mister romance is stupid, hormones are dumb, lets play a game. :D)
GG: can i read it? :D :D :D
EB: ugh...
EB: i'd really rather not, jade.
GG: :( aw, but i wouldnt laugh!! I just thought it was cute that youd be writing about romance. So sweet!!
EB: i'm
EB: not writing romance.
GG: but youre writing about kisses! :? with tongue even!
EB: jaaaaaade.
GG: joooooooooooohn!
GG: i WILL keep pestering you all night if i have to. >:O
GG: show me your story!
GG: come on, ive read, like, ALL OF THE BOOKS. ALL OF THEM. it would be really fun to read yours! :(
EB: it's not a book, it's just a
EB: damn it.
EB: okay fine i indeed have hormones hahaha and there is an egregious dearth of porn on this ship. so as per a dave suggestion that he likely never thought i'd take seriously i'm making my own. now can we finally get to pretend this discussion never happened?!
EB: hey jade! still up at this hour? you're going to be tired tomorrow.
EB: ... um, jade?
EB: are you still here?
GG: omg
GG: youre writing porn??? :O
EB: gnn.
EB: YES, ACTUALLY. PORNY PORNTASTIC PORN. with a light sprinkling of smut for seasoning.
EB: only someone interrupted and now my writing boner is all sad and wilted.
EB: how could you, jade. how could you.
GG: ew, john X'D
EB: yeah well you asked for it.
GG: :P still am!
EB: uh
EB: what.
GG: asking for it! your story i mean.
EB: ... i repeat, uh what
EB: you still want to read it? seriously?
GG: yes!!! X'D come on, show me!!!!!!
EB: but it's
GG: um.
GG: do you think only boys like to look at sexy things?? honestly.
EB: ...
EB: oh.
GG: and even if its not sexy it will be a little funny
EB: ugh
EB: you're gonna nag me about it all week if i don't, huh.
GG: :3
EB: ...
EB: don't worry if tomorrow my face has sloughed off my head. it's just the third degree burns that blush is giving me.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] sent gardenGnostic [GB]the file "thisisstupid.doc" --

GG: hehe. if that helps im blushing a bit too.
GG: opening it up now! X3
EB: by the way i hadn't gotten to any porn yet so hah. boxblocked.
GG: pff the setting counts a lot for the mood too. i can imagine the rest.
EB: ... ngh.
GG: ... not that I am!! um. in theory i could. i mean. imagination is pretty sexy!
EB: jade? just... if you're going to read, just read, okay.
GG: i am.
GG: do you want crit? because you have some good sentences here and with a little bit of work it could be pretty awesome! but theres a lot of typos and some words could be chosen better.
EB: gog, jade, *i wrote it one-handed*.
EB: since apparently it's sharing day and all!
EB: ... sorry. that was kinda tmi. i mean not that the whole discussion isn't tmi already but this was tx10mi.
GG: ... no its fine. ;)
GG: so any reason youre writing about angels and demons??? i didnt know you were into fantasy stuff!
EB: uh
EB: i'm not. it was just a random idea. idk.
GG: no no, its a good idea. theres a lot of sexy things you could do with feathers! :D
GG: the girl angel sounds pretty! (but you could make it prettier, i mean like not butt-lenght black hair, thats boring. raven tresses? flowing midnight locks? and then point out how they contrast with her silver'd moonlit pinions in a really dramatic way)
EB: ...
EB: dave was right, girls don't process porn with the same part of the brain. :P
GG: >:P yeah, with the part thats behind our eyes not down our pants!
GG: oh no the poor demon, why are his wings missing??????
EB: gosh i don't know! he has really badass scars okay
EB: also you know how dave keeps bitching about how he can't lie on his back anymore and
EB: uh
EB: there was a scene i planned later on where he'd be kind of.
EB: ugh.
EB: pinned down.
EB: so yeah. off with the wings!
GG: oh oh oh she could take him flying!! later on i mean. or actually maybe earlier, that would give the story some kind of setup.
GG: i bet hed really want to fly.
EB: ... yeah. i bet he would.
GG: he'd be really sad about not flying.
EB: yeah, yeah. but he wouldn't be sure he can trust an angel, so he'd probably cling really tight. which uh, man, his claws. it wouldn't be pretty.
GG: ... !!!!
EB: what??
GG: :D :D :D flying sex??
EB: jade!
GG: aw. :(
EB: that's uh. not a bad idea actually. wow.
GG: :3 :3 :3
EB: stop making yiffy faces!
GG: theyre not yiffy faces! D:
GG: (this one would be a yiffy face. >:3~ hehe.)
EB: ugh.
GG: oh wow
EB: what?
GG: heeee.
EB: what??
GG: heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i didnt know you liked girls on top!
EB: gah! it's just the story! it doesn't mean i want a girl to uh
GG: to? :D grab you by the horns and make you...?
GG: um. wow. okay this is a little sexy.
GG: WHERE IS THE NEXT PAGE????? D: D: D:
EB: well gee, i wonder!
EB: it's somewhere between HI JOHN street and I KNOW YOURE AWAKE TALK TO ME boulevard.
GG: oh noooooooo it was just getting good!
GG: you have to tell me what happens next!
EB: oh gog.
GG: pleeeeeeease john please please please. i wont be able to sleep!! :'(
GG: does she... release his horns? hed be able to bite her if she did though
GG: though that could be a little sexy i suppose
EB: uh. no, i kinda thought she'd just. keep him pinned down for a little bit. until he stops being all no kissing is too nice i am a mighty demon we can't have good things rar rar.
EB: he'd probably bite her mouth though?
GG: haha i bet she wouldnt like that. (only secretly she would but still ow not that hard!) im trying to make you feel good you ungrateful little fuckass!
EB: but ooh no it feels too good can't have that also i hate your stupid feathers stop tickling me or i'll pluck you bald!! iyaan.
EB: he's such a fail demon, all talk and no wings and tsuntsun for angel chicks.
GG: XD XD XD!!!
GG: but he totally secretly likes it right?
EB: well yeah. i mean no guy can fake THAT. uh. she's a very pretty angel. also pretty badass. who doesn't like a badass sexy lady who wants to get all up in your grill for srs.
GG: bleah you sound like dave XPPP
EB: ... okay fine also one who wanted to
EB: touch his scars oh gog i can feel my penis shriveling just saying that. ugh.
GG: XD
GG: i wont tell, promise. :3
GG: no one will know you have been depenis'd!
EB: JADE. WITCH OF BONERKILL.
GG: XD XD XD XD XD ew john!
GG: ;)
EB: hmph.
GG: okay, okay, what next?? shes holding him by the horns
GG: she guides him back toward the bed? all twisting them back so he has to crane his neck and bare his throat and
GG: he really hates that, and she bites him there as revenge
GG: also to make him shut up.
EB: like a mighty demon would shut up for a tiny little nip.
GG: yeah, he probably insults her even harder. :/
GG: so then she. uh. does she push him on the bed just yet?
EB: uh.
EB: actually i was thinking.
EB: if she twisted right, i mean, it would be like a joint lock in martial arts, she wouldn't have to twist *much* to
GG: ???
EB: get him on his knees oh damn this sounds so pervy, i swear i dont want anyone to do that to me
GG: ... i believe you.
GG: he'd be quiet for a minute once hes down there, wouldnt he? kind of really surprised? and blushing really hard.
EB: huh whynot.
GG: his rosy lips would be parted in shock as he gazes up on her like shes a goddess and he doesnt deserve her touch, hes stained
GG: and shed release one of his horns and caress his cheek
GG: and then shed say,
GG: "shh its my decision whether i want to stain myself"
EB: bluh rose bis
GG: >:D and then shed say "well since youre down here and you like keeping your mouth busy"
EB: l,kkkkkk
EB: aw crap my can of soda slipped
EB: on the keyboard i mean, hehe, i'm lucky it didnt short out the keys
GG: yes, very lucky. XD
GG: ;)
EB: whaaat?? >:/
GG: your turn. im not going to write your whole story for you!
EB: oh urgh. damn. okay.
EB: so he's oh damn you, you landed me with the porn.
GG: >;3~
EB: okay fine so he's on his knees and she has like three miles of fluffy skirts
EB: and a corset? corsets are sexy.
GG: ugh i hear its super hard to move in one, itd be hard to kick ass.
EB: she's an angel, i bet she has powers so she doesn't have to kick them literally. anyways!
EB: so he takes the bottom of her skirts and lifts them up
EB: his hands are kinda
EB: shaky
EB: becausr he really wantsd it but it's kinda neughty and hees a stick in the mud but ohgod he wants it
GG: and she pulls him closer and she can feel his breath on her through her silken panties
EB: and he
EB: and he kisses her. there. and she says with your teeth take them off withyor teeth and his fangs are raelly sharp and he doesnt graze hre even alitte bit
GG: oh
GG: yes
GG: he would never he is so, so careful and his hands are still shaking he closes his eyes as he works her panties down her creamy thighs, but she says *look at me*
GG: and she makes him look at him all the way through as she guides his mouth on her and he leaves heated, devouring kisses upon her dewy flower
EB: and she rocks against his faceshe pushes hersejf on him she comoes ll over him shaking and moaninng andnhes soso hard but she wont let him touchn shimself she saysn getonthe bed.
GG: she says get on the bed, on your back but he says no but she says you bared yout rrthoat to me you are mine now
EB: and he says i cant i wont youre alone anyway you cant make me
GG: and she says *i am never alone* and strong arms embrace the wing-torn demon from behind and another pair of white wings wrapping him upo like a cocoon shh youre safe youre ours youre beautiful
EB: builk jhb
EB: ffi ij¨kiiiiiiiiiiii
GG: and the two angels theyre mirrir images one male one female they hold him tight and close and thtrey take him she takes him deep inside her so burning warm so wet the male angel takes him he isso tight so full he
GG: surrenders im yours he feelsso good safeloved usedtaken marked biten takingand ta ken

-- ectoBiologist [EB] is now an idle chum! --
-- gardenGnostic [GG] is now an idle chum! --

EB: ...
GG: and afterwards they spend hours kissing the scars on his back telling him theyll be his wings
EB: jade.
GG: and now the boy angel doesnt have to watch from the window as the pretty demon is on his knees for his sister, he can get the demon on his knees for him too
EB: *jade*!
GG: are we still pretending its not karkat?

-- ectoBiologist [EB] blocked gardenGnostic [GG] --

GG: :( you know I still dont see whats so bad about having a crush on another boy.
GG: i guess maybe its the twin thing
GG: i guess its weird, huh? sorry. i just
GG: i wont mention it anymore.

-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 00:38 --

-- ectoBiologist [EB] unblocked gardenGnostic [GG] --

EB: jade, it's not

-- gardenGnostic [GG] is offline! --

EB: i

-- ectoBiologist [EB] is now an idle chum! --

EB: i don't mind the twin thing.
EB: i mean it's not like we were raised together and if we see it less incesty and more like a clone/mirror/"two halves of one soul!!" thing it's
EB: okay i guess.
EB: and we haven't seen karkat in two years anyway and i didnt have a crush on him back then, how can i have one now? it's just.
EB: puberty i guess.
EB: i guess it's easier to write characters that are similar to people you sort of know is all. im sure i've seen that in rose's magazines.

-- ectoBiologist [EB] is now an idle chum! --

EB: gog damn it i can't get that image of him inbetween us out of my mind. i honestly hate you, harley.
EB: if i walk crooked tomorrow it'll be all your fault.
EB: <>?

-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 01:12 --

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 07:35 --

GG: <3 ;333~