Detective Conan/Magic Kaito


Party Hookups Aren't What They Used To Be

"Man, yer dad doesn't look like you at all."

Saguru wasn't exactly taken by surprise; earlier in the evening his father had introduced him to quite a few of the higher-ranked men in the Osaka division, Superintendent Hattori Heizo amongst them. Saguru only had time for a dry 'we've met' when Superintendent Hattori in turn introduced his son before someone interrupted and he was whisked away for another introduction; he'd been expecting Hattori junior to find him again in the crowd ever since.

Saguru wasn't exactly taken by surprise, but hearing Hattori-kun's voice so close to his ear still had him stiffening all over so as to keep his shiver under control.

"I'm not convinced you can afford to make this kind of comment," he replied, casual as possible, even as he sneaked Hattori-kun a glance. The young man stood a step behind him and to the side, hands stuffed in his pockets, ruining the line of a suit he didn't seem to appreciate much if one considered the way he couldn't be bothered to button the shirt all the way up.

"Hey, what's that mean? I look plenty like my old man. Coupla shades darker, maybe."

"Eyes," Saguru pointed out, his own gliding away from the too-fascinating gap at Hattori-kun's throat. "Moustache."

"I could grow one if I wanted."

Hattori-kun sounded mildly petulant, but without hostility. Saguru smiled, though he made sure he was turned sufficiently away that it couldn't be seen. "Crooked nose."

"That's 'cause it was broken. Your old man is about three inches smaller than you and sixty pounds heavier. Your builds are totally different. You couldn't break and heal and rebreak your nose enough to make it look like his, he's got those round cheekbones and that square face..."

"All that from a two-minute introduction," Saguru said, arching an eyebrow, smirking a little, and saluted him with his glass of champagne. "You're more observant than you pretend."

Hattori-kun slanted him a suspicious sidelong look, as if he was wondering where the barb was, then shrugged and started stroking his chin, mock-thoughtful. "Also I wouldn't tap that ass."

It had, of course, been timed precisely for the moment where Saguru was taking a sip. He choked on an appalled laugh, almost spitting the champagne back out. A couple of men clustered nearby glanced his way; Saguru quickly turned away so they wouldn't notice his reddening face.

"You bastard," he whispered, still trying to control his laughter. "Fine, first point to you."

Hattori-kun grinned. "Anyway. Whatcha doin' here? Bit far from your usual huntin' grounds."

"Oh, I decided to start the Academy in the fall, but I'd rather not do it in the same district Father works..." He shrugged, like it didn't matter.

"Ah. Wanna see what you're made of when you're not daddy's son?" Hattori-kun asked, but curiously without teasing.

"Mm." A short sigh. "So of course he has taken it upon himself to introduce me around."

"Man." Hattori-kun nudged Saguru's shoulder with his. Saguru went still. "Someone's missed the point, huh?"

"...Mm." He really needed to get his brain back in gear before Hattori-kun noticed the lapse. "You are going through the Academy at this time, aren't you?"

"Yeah, be done next month." He stuck his hands behind his head, stretching his button-up shirt in ways that should not be stretched, one because they were improper and two because they gave Saguru ideas. "Man it's gonna be awkward to be stuck on routine patrols. I guess everyone goes through that before they can start doing the detective stuff, but I'm gonna die if I don't find cases to research on weekends."

"I'm not sure you'll still be allowed to do half the things you used to get up to now that you're going to be an official member of the Force."

Hattori-kun sagged. "Yeah, probably."

... And it seemed they had exhausted their topics of conversation. Saguru had a feeling that bringing up Kudo-kun would be a bit desperate, not to mention rather transparent. He wasn't sure Hattori-kun would be especially interested in Holmes geekery, and the amount of background he needed to impart before the anecdote made any sense was discouraging.

Or he could just go ahead and ask Hattori-kun if he knew of any well-hidden corner appropriate for an evening tryst. In case he felt reckless enough to try his luck at a police soiree with both their fathers in attendance.

"So." Hattori-kun stuck his hands back in his pockets, stretching his jacket out of shape. "Champagne? You froofy European. What d'you have against sake?"

... Or they could snipe at each other. "It's very good champagne," Saguru retorted primly, and held out his flute. "Do you want a taste for your uneducated palate? I don't think you'll appreciate it much, but it's a bit sad as it is."

Hattori-kun stared at the flute for a second too long, and laughed, not entirely steady. Huh. it seemed like Saguru had scored a point without even meaning to. What was -- oh. Right. Japan. This counted as an indirect kiss around here. Likely no one but a schoolgirl would care in all seriousness, but then again no one but a schoolgirl would share their glass, either.

He was drawing his hand back when Hattori-kun casually stepped shoulder to shoulder with him to block the view from the room and swiped his glass.

"Ew, fizzy. That's good for soda, not alcohol."

Bemused, Saguru watched him for a few seconds. Hattori-kun wasn't meeting his eyes, though he pretended airy carelessness rather well. His cheeks seemed to be darkening some as well. "I take it you've never had a JD and Coke," Saguru replied, managing somehow to come off casual.

"What's that?"

They shifted their weight again so that the flute could change hands unseen again. "Jack Daniel's whiskey and coca-cola. It's not too bad."

"Pff. You should drink your alcohol straight, like a man."

Saguru waited until Hattori-kun was done grimacing his unsubtle disdain to lift the champagne flute to his lips.

He didn't break eye contact once. His heartbeat kicked up a notch when Hattori-kun broke it first, to stare at his lips.

"... Y'know, right now I really want to drag you off in a closet."

Hattori-kun's strangled voice did interesting things to Saguru's nether regions; but he sounded more regretful than promising. Disappointed, Saguru took another sip, leaning back; he'd been steadily angling toward the other young man and hadn't fully noticed until now. He hoped his body language hadn't gotten too revealing.

"Hakuba -- ah." Hattori-kun rocked on his heels, hands stuck in the back of his waistband in lieu of back pockets. He sneaked Saguru a quick, nervous look, scratched the back of his neck. "Er. It's just that. If I'm dragging you in a closet tonight, I gotta drag you to Kazuha first. And, uh. Well. We're in public and she ain't discreet..."

A pause, as Hattori-kun's nervous fidgeting stilled, as his worried look grew more sober, searching.

"And she might say no."

"Ah." Ah. "Give me a moment." To be honest, he'd almost managed to forget about Toyama-san. Forewarned, the risk that she would impulsively blurt out something revealing wasn't huge; Hattori-kun seemed to know that it wasn't what brought him to a stop.

Asking someone else for permission... Letting someone else know about his affairs, that bothered him already, made him feel vulnerable. He'd always been an extremely private person about this side of his life. But the risk of rejection...

"Is that your rule, then?" he asked.

"For repeats, yeah. 'cause sleeping with a guy once, that doesn't count much, but doin' it again, I've got to like them a little." He was blushing openly now, unable to meet Saguru's eyes. "As a friend, I mean! Or -- well. As a person. Else I wouldn't bother. And sometimes she gets jealous."

... Mouri-san had warned him of this, that first time months ago.

"She'll kinda want to, I dunno, take a look at you. If she doesn't like you... or she thinks I like you too much, or, I don't know how she thinks at the best of times, don't ask me."

Saguru almost said never mind, let's forget this. Almost. There was something in the way he spoke... "You... dunno?" he repeated cautiously.

Hattori-kun glowered at him, cheeks flushed. "Yeah. I dunno. Might come as a surprise but so far I -- there wasn't any need to -- aw, damnit, you wanna or you don't wanna?"

Oh. Hattori-kun had never brought up this clause with her before.

"Yes" slipped out before Saguru could even think about it, which was a very bad habit he would squarely blame on Hattori-kun's bad influence and stupidly attractive body until the end of Time.

He was glad for the glass in his hand as he followed in Hattori-kun's wake through the crowd of high-ranking policemen; it gave him something to pay attention to, not to bump it into someone, not to let any liquid spill out, not to clench too hard and break the stem, but not so lightly that the littlest tap would have him drop the glass.

He had a feeling the way he wanted to watch Hattori-kun's ass in those dress trousers would out him to the majority of the room otherwise.

Toyama-san sat with several female friends of hers, other policemen's daughters, laughing brightly around her as she told a story with enthusiasm. She looked briefly guilty when Hattori-kun approached and then grinned nervously; no doubt the story had been about him, an impression reinforced by the muffled snickers of the girls all around. Saguru stopped at the edge of the group's space, unwilling to encroach, and waited for Hattori-kun to convince his girlfriend to come with him a minute.

They were going to need a story for her to tell afterwards, if Saguru believed the intrigued looks the group sent them as they departed, him trailing behind the couple as Toyama-san peppered her boyfriend with questions.

"Aw, just wait a minute!"

She threw Saguru a confused look over her shoulder; he managed an awkward little smile in return, and hoped they wouldn't attract more attention. She opened her mouth to ask, then frowned and closed it, allowing Hattori-kun to herd her out of the ballroom and through a corridor. Straight ahead were the restrooms; Hattori veered left. That corridor was long and narrow, without any door to eavesdrop behind and some space to see people coming. Saguru figured this was as good as they were going to find around here.

Hattori-kun bent to whisper a couple of words in her ear. Saguru slowed down, came to a stop with some space between the two of them and him to allow them the illusion of privacy to discuss things. Briefly he wondered if this was truly worth the bother -- the shame, the potential rejection -- but he was committed now.

Hattori-kun straightened up, rocked on his heels, nervous, grinning a little bit. Toyama-san turned to look at Saguru.

She stared for a while, an expression he couldn't read on her face. It was nothing overblown in that way that invited people in on the joke, that hinted that even she didn't take her moods entirely seriously. There was nothing to do but wait -- he wouldn't plead, and anything he said might be taken badly -- so Saguru looked back soberly, waiting for the verdict.

"Well. I guess he's pretty."

Hattori-kun brightened. "So. Can we --"

"Are you kiddin' me?"

Saguru flinched, and it didn't make him feel much better to see Hattori-kun's disappointed look.

"You promised me a dance," she said, and now she was blushing fiercely, "and I'm not dancing whithcha if you've got penis breath."

Oh god. Whiplash. And the mental picture. The mental pictures, plural -- Hattori-kun going down on him, and his going up close and personal with friends and family who would then know what he'd been up to. Saguru pressed a hand to his eyes, but it didn't blot it out, or make the blush now spreading on his face disappear.

"... You at the Hilton?"

Saguru startled. "Er. Yes."

"Check out?"

"... Eleven AM."

"Good." The young woman turned to Hattori-kun. "You can drop me off home this evening. I wanta go home early, my feet hurt already and we ain't even danced yet. And we're still on for lunch tomorrow, don't you forget. And if yer late, Heiji--"

Hattori-kun let out a breathless laugh and swooped in to drop a daring kiss on her lips. "Got it, got it! I won't be late."

"Swear on your ma's head."

"Swear on my ma's head, and the katana she'd put through mine too."

"Well, good." She gave Saguru another frowning, scrutinizing look, and then nodded to herself and swept past him, back toward the exit. "Fifteen minutes, and then I want my dance. And no penis breath, Heiji!" she called over her shoulder, loud enough to resonate all along the corridor.

Saguru stood there, stupidly blinking at her bouncing ponytail and retreating back, until she turned the corner and disappeared. That was it? No... no yelling, threatening... peeing on Hattori-kun's leg to mark her territory... Then again he guessed she hadn't been too subtle in her 'mine!'s, but she hasn't been a tenth as aggressive as he had expected either. Merely very firm in her laying of boundaries, stern even. Possibly part of that had been embarrassment.

Her embarrassment was so much better a topic for his thoughts than his own.

He would never stop blushing. Ever.

Hopefully if someone had overheard they could pass it off as a joke. He wasn't going to come out and check for eavesdroppers right now. He didn't have the strength to be smooth and charming at people. Maybe in a minute, or an hour, or a century.

Hattori-kun stepped up to him and stood, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the end of the corridor. "One day I'm gonna marry that woman," he said. He was grinning wide and foolish, besotted enough that Saguru couldn't help but huff out a laugh and roll his eyes at him.

"This is extremely messed up."

"Why? 'cause my girl is awesomely awesome and has stamped you good enough for me? Because -- uh, maybe I should stop talking about how cool she is to your face. Shouldn't I?"

And now he looked alarmed. Was I crass and insensitive? that face seemed to say. Was I not? Argh, can't tell! Saguru gave in and laughed, leaned in so they were hips to hips. "As long as we stay with generic, non-descriptive terms, I can deal with the..." a mock-shudder, "femaleness."

Heiji chuckled. "Can do." They kissed, long and slow, relaxing bit by bit.

Until Heiji nipped him.

"Hey, Hakuba?"


"She said I couldn't have penis breath. She ain't gonna come close enough to sniff you."

Saguru gave him a shove, though it wasn't strong enough to even get them to break contact. Hattori-kun grinned wider.

"Come on, we got fifteen minutes!"

"Twelve minutes and forty-five seconds, actually, and you realize most other people would be embarrassed to admit what a quick shot they are."

Hattori-kun bit his jaw and fit his hands to Saguru's ass, and growled things in his neck about seeing who of the two of them was the quicker shot, just wait, Kazuha gave them all night. Which was pretty much just as planned, so Saguru merely smiled and groped him back, and then they had an impromptu wrestling match as foreplay.

It was good Hattori's pants were already bound for the dry cleaner, with how he mistreated them. Because now there was champagne on them, too. Saguru wasn't sorry at all, but he still apologized at length on his knees.