Detective Conan/Magic Kaito

So the other day I was listing the Conan pairings that pinged me, and one that was definitely NOT on the list was Heiji/Shinichi. Way too buddies for me!
Well, apparently I still don't like it when they're each other's primaries, but as best-buddies-who-fuck? Seems to work just fine.
I make absolutely no excuses.

Swingersverse: Swordfight! (Hurhurhur.)

"So..." Heiji was grinning down at him. It was a strange expression, both sheepish and delighted. "You didn't see that coming? At all?"

Well, maybe not sheepish, maybe more like nervous. The delight, though, Shinichi didn't need help understanding the source.

"No, I didn't," he replied, and tried -- and failed -- not to make it sound like pure wounded dignity. Because damn it, he really hadn't, and as impulsive as Heiji was, the question implied clearly that it had been a long time coming. Damn, it was embarrassing to have missed it.

His lips were still tingling.

He dug his elbows in the tatami under him, glowered at Heiji who still straddled his hips, keeping him pinned down. When Heiji, the kendo champion, had convinced him to show off the couple of karate moves Ran taught him recently, he'd expected it to degenerate, of course, competitive as they both were -- but into roughhousing. He'd expected to lose, too; close combat wasn't his greatest skill.

Heiji claiming a kiss, though -- still panting with exertion, eyes shining with his victory as his callused hands pinned Shinichi's wrists to the mats...

Oh hell, and now he was blushing. Heiji let out a bark of laughter, his whole body shaking. Shinichi could feel it, right through the thighs keeping his hips trapped.

"Never, ever?"

Shinichi opened his mouth to growl back a 'no' and then paused. If he wanted to be honest... "I might have... kind of -- wondered, but I was Conan, and you're not a pedophile, and even if you were reacting to the adult me you saw in your mind... Obviously when you got together with Kazuha-san I thought I'd imagined it." He glared, hard. "Maybe I'm still imagining it, in fact, because while, yes, shut up, bisexuals exist, Kazuha-san exists as well."

He'd expected... maybe shame, maybe sadness, though Heiji would have told him if they'd broken up, wouldn't he? And then again shame would imply Heiji had thought it would hurt people and he wasn't like that, and Shinichi didn't get it!

He didn't expect a "Oh, yeah. About that."

Or a predatory grin to spread on Heiji's face, either, as the other young man loomed over him, leaning forward until Shinichi had to lean back.

"That your only objection, Kudo?"

"Do I really need more than one?!" he protested, flustered.

Heiji gave him a cat-whose-canary-rolled-itself-in-cream-and-ran-straight-in-his-mouth smile.

"You know, it's funny how much more jealous she usedta be when we weren't together yet. Insecure, I guess."

Shinichi's elbows were starting to hurt a bit, but if he shifted he would only feel Heiji's body on his more than he already did, and that really wasn't a good idea. He growled. "And now that you're officially committed to each other, she trusts you."

"Well, actually, she's still kinda jealous." A pause. "Over other girls."

Shinichi was caught staring at him; when green eyes loomed closer he didn't even think of turning his head away.

Heiji kissed him again, less hungry than the first -- almost chaste, really, just a press of lips on lips. There was affection in it, though, not only passion. Not just 'you're hot and I want you' but 'I care about you' as well.

"It's the Kudo-Ran clause," Heiji said, voice almost quiet against Shinichi's lips. "It's not cheating if it's with either of you."

Shinichi was so distracted by the velvety brush of Heiji's breath on his damp lips -- by the trust and care, and how special it seemed Heiji was telling him he was to him -- that it took him a second to run that comment to the second step of its logic.

"... You. You want to -- you and Ran?"

His voice went a little strangled. He couldn't help it. A dark hand on her pale breasts, that would be gorgeous, but -- no, Heiji wanting Ran, it felt almost like a betrayal. He shook his head, confused and strangely hurt.

"Pfft. Didn't know kissing ya would mess with yer brain so bad, Kudo. That's twice now you misread a clue."


"I'm not especially interested in Neechan, sexually speaking. Then again Kazuha ain't especially interested in you, either."


Oh hell.

Alright. Kazuha -- now, Kazuha wasn't his best friend, so of course he wouldn't feel betrayed by her being attracted to his girlfriend, and -- oh, who was he kidding. He was a stupid male with stupid biased kinks, and Ran all entangled with another pretty girl -- when Heiji kissed him a third time, he kissed back, groaning in his mouth. Heiji laughed without breaking the kiss, nipped his lower lip; Shinichi made an irritated little noise and shifted his weight to one elbow so he could wrap his other arm around his neck and strangle him a bit -- and kiss him deeper, that ass, thrust his own tongue in that laughing mouth.

Their combined weights were too much for his unbalanced position and he flopped on his back on the tatami. He wriggled under Heiji to flip them over, but the rat bastard only widened his stance, knees firmly planted on either side of him, and waited him out. Shinichi slipped a hand in his hair and gave it a tug for punishment.

Apparently Heiji took it to mean that Shinichi wanted him to slide down a bit and start in on his neck instead, lips caressing and teeth nibbling, all up and down his throat and right to that little spot just behind his ear.

Well. That was why he was a detective.

Shinichi sighed, his breath coming out shaky. Heiji's body covered his, compact and strong, most of his weight on his elbows but just enough on Shinichi's own body to let him feel, be aware of it all. He stared up at the dojo's ceiling in a daze for longer than he probably should have before he found the strength to speak.


Heiji stopped moving. He let out a soft, shaky breath in the hollow at the base of his neck before he pushed himself up to meet Shinichi's eyes.

"I'm... going to have to ask Ran first." It was so hard to say with Heiji's solid body on top of his, his trusting, patient eyes so close, the tingly trail of his kisses on Shinichi's neck. "Things are already unfair to her..."

"Uh, Kudo, she gets access to a girl, you get access to a guy... I mean, if she doesn't want Kazuha, that's one thing -- though it'd suck -- but the real unfair would be to tell her that you can and she can't."

Shinichi's face was burning. "... Well, that's the thing. We already have a ... um." God, he couldn't make himself say it. He muttered it really fast, embarrassed. "I know, I know, it's silly, we don't really expect it to ever see any use, it's more like an in-joke but--"

"Kudo. Kudo." Heiji peered at him, brow furrowed, though his lips quirked in amusement. "A what?"


Heiji blinked once. Twice.

"Oh, that. Who doesn't?"

Shinichi stared at him for all of two seconds before he flipped them over and tried pinning the laughing bastard long enough to noogie the hell out of him. Heiji struggled back, but halfheartedly, distracted as he was by his epic fit of laughter.

"You're such an asshole, Hattori," Shinichi eventually growled, as he sat on Heiji for a change. Heiji snickered back, breathless, sprawled on the mats with his hair in disarray and looking like he didn't mind one bit. "Do you guys really...?"

"Nah, just messing with you. Guess we don't deal with 'im enough for that. Then again if he was in Osaka more often, maybe that'd change. Intriguing bastard, huh. Makes you wonder what he looks like behind that stupid monocle."

Shinichi let out a pained groan. "Hattori. Next topic."

Heiji rested his hands on Shinichi's thighs, casual and friendly and it made Shinichi's traitorous cock twitch a little anyway. Shit, he wasn't going to be able to stand there while Heiji clapped his shoulder in greeting without getting ideas ever again, not now that he was aware of... things. That body against him, that soft, open look in green eyes, that faint teasing smile with still-flushed lips.

"I need to ask her," he whispered, voice strangled. "I -- I want, but--"

Heiji smiled up at him, the kind of smile that meant 'of course, stupid, you wouldn't be you otherwise, totally unsurprised here'. Also, 'I really am unspeakably fond of you.'

Maybe more, maybe that other word, that l-word, but he couldn't think it.

When the phone rang he jumped. Heiji huffed out a breath as Shinichi came down on his stomach a bit too heavily and glowered halfheartedly up at him.

Ran's number. He stared at it for a second or three before he could bring himself to accept the call and bring it up to his ear.


He fumbled the phone and almost dropped it on Heiji's head.


"Kudo! Tell your girlfriend you don't mind."

He couldn't find his voice. In the background he could hear Ran whimpering, the kind of noises she made when her face was red with embarrassment and she was struggling not to squirm and hide her face, the kind she made when he teased her.

"Oh for god's sake, don't tell me that stupid Heiji didn't bring it up yet."

Shinichi coughed. "Uh. Actually, he just--"

"Good! Now tell her you don't mind."


She growled through the phone. "You so owe me. I let ya monopolize Heiji so often and it's just not fair, okay?! And don't tell me you don't have sex when you're off investigatin' who knows what where, because you're havin' so many brainstorms it should count as frotting at the very least!"

Under him, Heiji was biting down on his fist to keep from suffocating with laughter too loudly. Shinichi could feel him. It was extremely distracting, but mortification had a way of focusing him.

"I mean seriously, it's like... sex on the astral plane, and that's not fair because it's not like we can follow you there, ya big brained freaks, and --"

Heiji lost the battle to keep quiet and twisted his upper body to the side so he could beat his fist against the tatami.

"Kazuha-san. KAZUHA. May I talk to Ran, please."

He poked Heiji in the side as punishment, just under his ribs. Heiji jumped a bit and turned to look up at him, eyes shining with tears of laughter. Shinichi tried to glare back, but it was hard when the sight gave him a little twinge of want. He knew if he hadn't been about to talk to Ran about temptation and possible cheating he would have kissed him, no questions asked.


He blinked, tore his eyes away from Heiji's. "So. Um."

He could hear her breathing and it was a little fast, a little...

"Um," she replied, just as intelligently. "Yes."

She wouldn't react like that if she wasn't...

"... So," he said, very calmly, all things considered. "Yes?"

The next second was the longest in recorded history, for all that it lasted exactly the prescribed one-sixtieth-of-a-minute. "... Yes."

On the other side of the phone, Kazuha let out a squeal and then Ran huffed out as if she'd suddenly been tackled and hugged tight. Shinichi tried bravely not to picture two pairs of breasts pressing together, or slender fingers and long smooth legs entangled.

"Oi." Heiji poked him in the hip and rolled under him, almost unseating him. Shinichi shifted his weight to keep him pinned down. Heiji made a face. "Gettin' distracted there?"

"--Ah. Sorry." Was it in bad taste to get distracted from the ... boyfriend? you were sitting on by your girlfriend? Well, formulated like that, yes, a bit, even if Ran was still... well, his favorite, he wanted to think. But the word was too close to 'favoritism' and that notion was only a step away from him using Heiji, and that was an ugly dynamic that he didn't want in his relationships. "Ran? Ran, I have to go."

At the other end of the line, clothes ruffled and someone made little surprised squeaks. He closed his eyes tight and tried not to visualize.

"--Ah. Yes. Me too." She hesitated, then whispered, caring and warm and just for him, "Have a good time, Shinichi."

"Yeah." He smiled, looked down at Heiji who still waited patiently under him, though his fingers had started tapping a little tempo on Shinichi's knee. "That won't be a problem. Hey. I love you."

"Love you too. And Shinichi? You have to tell me everything afterwards, okay? Everything."

She hung up. Shinichi stared at the phone for a moment, and then he started grinning.

He had the best girlfriend in the entire world.


"Hmm?" he asked, looking down at his ... best friend... boyfriend... person. He rolled his hips, experimentally.

"I just -- ngh, damn it -- wanted to say, we can do the voyeur thing later but -- damn it stop moving, you damned cocktease!"

The phone went skidding on the mats as they rolled around, trying to pin each other down. Shinichi chuckled in Heiji's ear, low and a little evil. His groin twitched at the little groan Heiji let out, as if that laugh was enough to get Heiji hot and bothered.

"I wanted -- wanted to say, aw hell, Kudo, you're an ass -- this time, I really--"

'This first time', Shinichi heard, 'our first time,' and when Heiji blushed dark and glowered at him and fell silent, he continued the line of thought softly, smirk fading. "Want it to be about us."

A grunt of agreement, the little puff of breath caressing his lips. "Mind?"

"... No, that's fine." He closed the last gap and kissed him.

Hand on his face -- kendo calluses. Leg thrown over his as they lay on their sides, muscles. Forest-green eyes, hazy behind thick eyelashes.

"You know, Detective," Shinichi whispered, "I don't know if you've noticed. We're in the middle of a really big, empty room."

Heiji snorted in amusement and leaned close, until their noses touched. "Yeah?"

"With no cover. And the door's not locked." It was a bit hard to lock a sliding door. Blocking it with a piece of wood, yes -- but it would involve getting up.

His legs were so warm, tangled with Heiji's.

"Sayin' that 'cause you'd rather christen my bed or just 'cause you're chicken?"

Shinichi growled a protest and rolled on top of him, and rocked his hips against his, a bit rough. "Just because I'm what, Hattori?"

Heiji made clucking noises.

He slid his hands up Shinichi's thighs, and then cupped his ass. Shinichi gritted his teeth and tried not to arch into it. He was the one teasing Heiji here, damn it. His hips rolled slow once again, belly against flat belly. Heiji's fly was digging into his cock, but at the moment that wasn't exactly a turn-off.

"Kudo is a big chicken," Heiji whispered, and stole a kiss.

"I simply wanted to make sure you were aware," Shinichi whispered back, and leaned down and bit his chin. "That we could get caught. At any moment."

He rolled his hips again, experimenting with the angle. Heiji choked on a groan, and when he smirked, bucked Shinichi off. They rolled across another three or four mats trying to gain the upper hand, Heiji snickering all the while.

"You kinky bastard," he said, laughing, and pinned Shinichi down again. Shinichi allowed it because suddenly there was a hand with interesting callus patterns on his bare stomach, one that seemed to want to travel upward under his shirt.

"Now how on earth did you reach that conclusion? Where's your -- ngh -- your proof?"

Heiji's hand left the nipple it was palming and went straight down to cup his crotch. Shinichi arched off the floor. "Oh, got a hunch."

Ah, fuck, it was so good. Being grabbed right through his jeans -- it was incredibly awesome. The rough, heavy cloth between Heiji's hand and his cock, tugging and rubbing. He couldn't swallow a low moan in time. When he forced his eyes open again, Heiji was leaning over him, staring down with gleaming green eyes.

"Shh, Kudo," Heiji said in a whisper, as he pumped Shinichi's cock again. "Doesn't sound much like you gettin' beat up."

Shinichi arched from the floor again, trying to thrust into his hand. "Mention your shinai... and I'm killing you." He didn't know if it was the hand itself, or the fact that Heiji was right, damn it, just the thought that he might be heard -- caught -- if he wasn't cautious, if someone wandered by at just the wrong moment, it was all down to luck and out of his control.

It was a game he'd never played with Ran, because the only people who might catch them if they left doors unlocked was her father and his mom, and those were rather a turn-off, though in different ways.

"... Okay, if you're laughing now I'm doing somethin' wrong," Heiji said, puzzled. Before Shinichi could attempt to explain he shrugged and leaned in, and then there were lips on his belly and Shinichi stopped breathing.


After a couple of seconds he had the vague thought that perhaps he should help Heiji with his pants, but he only managed to get in his way and get his hands slapped aside, like a naughty kid reaching for the cookie jar. There was a joke there about metaphors and cookie jars in his underpants but he couldn't get his brain to work on it, and when he felt Heiji mouthing him through his boxers he pretty much forgot.

Head thrown back, staring blankly at the far wall, he bit down on his hand, to remind himself to keep quiet. His other hand found Heiji's head and his fingers slid in black hair and tangled there, feeling it move under his hand as Heiji kissed his way up and down his shaft. The cloth was left damp behind him.

"You're the biggest tease, I'm never going to forgive you--"


Frozen, Shinichi's heart thundered in his ears as he strained desperately to hear what Heiji had. Footsteps? What was that noise -- wind in the tree, or socks on wooden floor? He couldn't tell, he couldn't and --

And Heiji had his hands on him, no more underwear in the way, skin to warm-rough skin, and then his lips, and "Oh, you son of a bitch," because he was so hard it was starting to ache.

Then Heiji's warm, grinning lips found his bared cock.

Somehow Shinichi found it in him to forgive his utter brat of a best friend.

Heiji shifted over him, hands leaving his cock to catch his hips, keep them down. Shinichi watched his head bob up and down and shivered down to his toes. His hands found Heiji's temples, his cheeks, feeling them hollow in as Heiji sucked on him.

"I'm. Not going to -- not long. Hattori. Heiji."

Heiji rubbed his hip, comfortingly. "Go ahead. We got all afternoon."

All afternoon. Do it again. Do it back, do more -- "Heiji," he panted. "Heiji--"

He didn't come until Heiji's hand rose to cover his mouth, and then it was like pulling a trigger. His hips bucked off the floor, throat locked, unable to let himself breathe or he would have screamed. Dizzy, shaky, he fell back, feeling aftershocks run through his nerves, and only remembered to breathe again when Heiji's hand lifted to tap his cheek.


"... mmmh."

Eyes closed, he listened to Heiji's chuckles as he moved up his body and slumped at his side.

"You're a perv."

"Says the swinger who indulged me," Shinichi replied. He felt blindly for Heiji's stomach, slid the back of his hand down his body.

Heiji snorted, shifted closer, throwing a leg across Shinichi's thighs.

"...I have to admit this isn't a label I ever thought I'd apply to myself," he mused, turning his hand as much as he could to cup his friend through his pants, and cracked his eyes open to steal a look. Heiji's eyes were a little glazed. "So. Should I return the favor?"

"Nghh. 'f you don't mind."

Shinichi sat up. He still felt warm and comfortable, relaxed. Heiji, though, looked as if he managed to stay patient only through great violence to himself. "I'd be an ass to let you do it if I was going to refuse to do it back, wouldn't I? Roll on your back."

"Eh. A handjob is fine, too." Heiji cracked an eye open and quirked an eyebrow. "You don't have a clue 'bout how to, huh?"

Heiji's little tangents and flashes of insight were rarely wrong. Shinichi couldn't deny a certain level of... trepidation at the thought of going down on another guy. "Well. I've never thought much about the process from this side." He shrugged. "Reverse-engineering it can't be hard. I'm game. Mind if I experiment a bit?"

Heiji seemed to resign himself to a terrible, yet strangely appealing fate. "...Oh fuck no, go ahead, experiment all you want."

Shinichi smirked and started to lean down, slowly, because after all there was all that revenge he had to get underway.

"Aw hell." A strangled whimper. "Tuesday th' fourth, H-Hattori dojo. Young adult male. Cause o' death: blue balls."

Shinichi started laughing around his cock.



---------- bonus omake ! ----------

"Hot as it was, I'm glad your mom didn't really walk by. Talk about awkward."

... Heiji was snickering. Alright, what the heck. Shinichi gave him a quizzical frown.

"Oh, she wouldn't have. D'ya ever notice how she always brings us drinks and stuff juuust after you get here, and then we never see her again until you leave?"

"... Now you mention it, yes." He braced himself. He was starting to guess where this was going.

"See, she somehow -- I dunno where she got that idea -- assumes I've been bangin' you for years."

Shinichi stared at him for a minute and then groaned. "Years."

Heiji shrugged, à la 'ehh, what can you do'. Shinichi dropped his hand on Heiji's arm and rubbed a bit, ruefully.

"And I call myself a detective."

"Hey, she's my mom. They have, like, superpowers."

Shinichi shuddered and made a note to send Ran the coded message that implemented their Stealth-Blackout-Gag-Order-Keep Mum On This At All Costs plan. Kudo Yukiko was never to find out.